Will I Ever See Tomorrow?
by Slo Motion
Summary: AU: Ruthie Camden is hiding something from the world. She is living in fear, she is living a lie. Chandler and Roxanne are her last hope to help her move on, will she open up to them or will she remain quiet? COMPLETED!
1. I've Lived To Tell

**Will I Ever See Tomorrow: The Rewrite**  
  
_AN: I decided to rewrite this story; I was looking over my old version, and decided to redo it. It will be slightly the same, but VERY different from the old one. In the original version of the story, Chandler raped Ruthie and she was left to deal with the pain. Well I decided that the whole "Chandler rapes Ruthie, and destroys her for life" thing is WAY overdone. So in this story I'm not having Chandler rape Ruthie, in-fact, I've got a better idea. But it will still be in Ruthie's point of view.  
  
Summary: Ruthie Camden had the perfect life. Until something happens that will change, and possibly destroy, her forever.  
  
WARNING: Contains rape, read only if you are comfortable with stories about it.  
  
Rating: PG-13, for rape/sexual scenes, some possible later violence, and some language.  
_

_Setting: Very early in the 8th season, even though the first story was set in the 7th season.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own 7th Heaven. But, I do own the creepy guy that destroys Ruthie. I decided to make up one._  
  
**Prologue**

(Ruthie's P.O.V)  
  
Here I sit, watching everyone outside my window walk by. People walking, talking, and laughing

together. While I sit up here, rotting away in the darkness that surrounds me. I don't like sitting

up here, but I'm terrified to face the fact that yesterday happened and I have to move on. How

can I move on after what he did to me? After he...he...he...I can't even mention what he did to

me out loud. He basically turned my body into his plaything. Here, allow me to tell it from the

beginning, you'll understand it better...  
  
**End Of Prologue**


	2. Painful Memory

**Chapter One**  
  
It all started when my family had a "neighborhood gathering", or a block party, for all the people in my neighborhood. Everyone came, and they all crammed into my family's backyard. They all talked, laughed, danced, flirted with people they liked, and basically were just having fun.  
  
Everyone I knew was there. My new friend Jill and her parents, my boyfriend Peter and his mom Paris, Mrs. Bink, Chandler; the associate pastor at my dad's church, Sergeant Michaels; an old family friend my dad has known for years, Roxanne; another friend of Lucy and Kevin and Chandler's girlfriend; I'm not sure, there's so many people in Glen Oak, I just can't keep track of who's dating who, Cecilia; Simon's ex girlfriend, boy, I've really missed Simon since he left, I don't have anyone to talk to, being that Simon and I are only five years apart, we were really close, and still are, Martin; some kid in our neighborhood, Rabbi and Mrs. Glass; my oldest brother, Matt's mother and father-in-law, Lucy, Kevin, my mom, my dad, my twins brothers, Sam and David, heck, even my dog, Happy was there, Lou; some guy my dad has worked with for years, and basically everyone who pretty much lives in Glen Oak.  
  
I myself really wasn't in the party mood, so I headed inside. I was just going to go up to my room and turn on some music, when I passed by Roxanne and Lucy, who were giggling like crazy. _Another girly conversation between those two_, I thought to myself, _how interesting...not_. I was just walking along when I heard what they were saying, and of course, I had a natural urge to snoop and see what their conversation topic was on.  
  
"...Luce, I swear, he's the perfect match for me! I think, no I know, he's the one I'm going to marry one day!" Roxanne blurted on and on about some guy. _Probably Chandler_, a voice in my head told me. I had to agree, I'd seen those two together, talk about love. I don't see why he just doesn't propose to her and they get married and everyone lives happily ever after...or something like that.  
  
"Ruthie!" I heard Lucy's angry voice, which broke my train of thought.  
  
I turned around and faced her and Roxanne. "What?" I asked, hoping they didn't want to include me in their girly talk.  
  
"Can you please **NOT** make it so obvious when you're snooping in on other's people's conversations! I mean, you could hide somewhere, or just mind your own business, whichever comes first!" Lucy warned me, I could tell she was annoyed at the fact I was listening in on one of her and Roxanne's "girly" conversations.  
  
"Fine." I shot back. "Next time I'll mind my own damn business. In fact, I have no idea why I wanted to hear about how much you and Kevin have sex, or how much Roxanne's hopelessly in love with Chandler and won't let him propose to her, yet so constantly complains she wants him to." I then walked past a wide-eyed Lucy and Roxanne.  
  
As I walked I heard someone say, "Hey Ruthie", to me. I turned around to see one of my neighbors, Doug Lane, looking at me. He was over by the buffet table my parents had set up. Doug was about Simon's age, seventeen or eighteen. He had extremely light blonde hair, almost white, with creepy- looking, piercing light blue eyes, and really pale skin. He kind of freaked me out, not so much by his looks but by his personality. The way he acted so calm all the time, and stared at people, and just acted weird and creepy in general. I tried to let my thoughts about him go as I walked over to him.  
  
I approached him and stood by him, keeping a good distance away from him just in case...you never know. "Yeah?"  
  
"You're looking kinda bored." He said, staring at me. God was he creeping me out. .  
  
"I am, I hate these stupid "block parties"...they're boring as heck. It's more of a grown-up thing, where they talk and get to know each other, not so much a kid/teen thing; you know what I mean?" I asked him.  
  
"Yeah, I get what you're saying, these block parties suck big time crap." Doug said in a creepy way; the tone of his voice freaked me out.  
  
"Tell me about it." I replied.  
  
"Hey, I have this secret place I go to unwind and, you know, chill." Doug told me.  
  
"Really?" I asked him, still keeping my distance.  
  
"Yeah, it's a cool little place where I go to sometimes, and I wanted to know if you wanna come with me next time I go there?" He asked me.  
  
"Sure, why not." I answered, and then paused for a quick moment. "But when's next time?"  
  
"Right now.' He said, moving towards me...yet I just stood there.  
  
"Oh." I replied, still crept out.  
  
"C'mon, are you coming with me or what!?" Doug asked, and then grabbed my arm and started to pull me.  
  
He pulled me out of my backyard, and along the street, until we reached his house. He opened the front door. He pulled me into his house and up the stairs.  
  
"The place is in your house?" I asked; a bit puzzled.  
  
"Yep." He responded.  
  
We then reached the door to his room. He opened his door and pulled me in his room and pushed me onto the bed. He sat down next to me and put his arm around me, causing me to be pulled closer to him.  
  
"What are you doing?" I asked; I was starting to get kind of frightened.  
  
"Baby, I've been checking you out for the longest time, and I am totally digging what I see." He answered creepily.  
  
"But you're like eighteen, and I'm only thirteen...what could you possibly see in me?" I asked, trying to look for a way to get out of his room, and back to that lame...but safe party.  
  
"Hell, who gives, I've noticed you're really mature for you're age, I like that." Doug said; a grin crept up onto his face.  
  
"That's ok, I'm not your type." I said nervously. I tried to get away, but his arm was locked around me tightly.  
  
"Oh yes you are, so let's get to fooling around, ok baby?" He said, and then he leaned in and kissed me with a hard force...and I didn't enjoy it.  
  
I tried to get away. But he moved his arm off of me and climbed on top of my helpless body. He pulled two things out of his pocket. One was a condom. The other was some kind of injector thingy. I knew exactly what he was doing. He was going to use the injector to put some kind of drug that would make me weak, clueless, and senseless for a certain amount of time...two hours at the very most. He was then going to use the condom to have sex with me. I was scared. I screamed loudly, but he slapped me hard across the face. He then took the injector and injected the drug into my arm before I could fight back. And then, everything became blurry and my world went black...  
  
(-----)  
  
I woke up about two hours later, when the drug's effects had started to ware off. But I then remembered where I was. I was in Doug's room. Bed sheets covered my body, so I looked under them; I was naked. I screamed loudly, Doug ran into the room, he scowled angrily at me.  
  
"I leave the room for five damn minutes to use the freaking bathroom, and your screaming like a you saw an fucking ghost, what gives?!" He screamed loudly at me.  
  
"I screamed because of the fact that I'm naked in your bed!" I yelled back, not wanting him to see my tears.  
  
"So, can I help the fact that you're a slut?!" He said, and then let out a cruel laugh.  
  
"What are you talking about!? You tricked me into coming up here, you pushed me onto your bed, you drugged me, and **YOU** raped me!" I yelled; feeling tears of anger come to my eyes.  
  
"Whatever, just leave!" He snapped. I opened my mouth to speak, but instead I decided to keep it shut, I jumped out of the bed and grabbed my clothes. I quickly put them back on. But, just I was about to leave the room...Doug stopped me. "And remember...if you tell anyone about this, you won't live to see tomorrow! Got it!?" He warned.  
  
"Yes." I said shakily, and then ran out of that hellhole house as fast as possible.  
  
I ran down the street and back to the party. I was freaked out. I was** RAPED**! Raped. Something that I never thought would happen to me. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Was it God's way of punishing me for all of the snooping, lying, and blackmail I had done in the past? I know I'm not the perfect little girl. But why me? Why me? Why...I all of a sudden felt myself bump into someone.  
  
I looked up; the person was taller than me. It was Chandler. He looked at me. "Sorry Ruthie, I wasn't watching where I was going." He said politely.  
  
"That's ok." I said, and then tried to get past him...but he sensed I wasn't quite right.  
  
"Are you ok?" Chandler asked me.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine...why do you ask?" I asked.  
  
"I don't know; you just seem spooked out." He inquired something was probably wrong, and something was wrong, really wrong...I had been raped. .  
  
"Oh...uh...no! I'm fine, really, I'm fine!" Was what came out of my mouth, even though I wasn't fine...and I knew it.  
  
"Ok." He said to me.  
  
"Oh well, guess I'll see you later." I said, and started to walk off.  
  
"Ok, bye." He replied, and turned around. I decided to follow him.  
  
I made sure to be quiet as a mouse. That way he wouldn't hear me. He walked over to my dad. And then tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"Eric, can I talk to you?" Chandler asked my dad.  
  
"What is it?" My dad asked him.  
  
"It's Ruthie, I just bumped into her, and she seemed a little off. I was thinking you might want to keep an eye on her, she seemed spooked out by something." Chandler told my dad.  
  
"Ok Chandler, thank you for being so concerned about Ruthie's well-being." My dad said.  
  
"It's no problem." He said back to my dad.  
  
I walked off; I decided to up to my room so I could let out my emotions there. I walked into my house, up the stairs, and all the way up to my attic-bedroom. I closed the door, and locked it. I turned on some music, and put the volume on high. While the music blasted, I cried loudly into my pillow, releasing my pain.  
  
I still can't believe what happened to me. I was raped. Raped! How could **I** be raped?! Why **ME**!?  
  
**End Of Chapter One**  
  
_AN: How is it? Better than the first one? I hope it is, that's why I wrote it, to be better than the first one. Please tell me what you think in reviews.  
  
-Alexa_


	3. I'm Not Stupid, Am I?

_(Summary: A short POV chapter from Ruthie.)_  
  
**Chapter Two**  
  
Ruthie's P.O.V  
  
I know I'm not stupid, but I feel stupid for what happened. It was like there was this little, hypnotic voice in my head telling me: "You're a stupid piece of trash!" I still can't believe that I didn't trust my better judgment and went with Doug and let him take advantage of me and do what he did. Why did I let him? I don't know why I did. Maybe I really am stupid.  
  
No...I'm not stupid. I just didn't use my better judgment. I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid...I just used bad judgment.  
  
I just have to keeping on telling myself that.  
  
I'm not stupid.  
  
I'M Not Stupid.  
  
I'M NOT STUPID.  
  
I'm not stupid, Doug is. He's the one that tricked me, the one that lied to me, the one that raped me. I hate Doug Lane.  
  
And another thing, I think Chandler might suspect something is wrong with me. I could tell by the way he kept looking at me, inquiring that I was lying...which I was. Then he told my dad. I'd better avoid Chandler if I want to keep this to myself.  
  
I just have to repeat those words to myself once more.  
  
I'm not stupid.  
  
Avoid Chandler.  
  
I'm Not Stupid.  
  
AVOID Chandler.  
  
I'M NOT STUPID.  
  
AVOID CHANDLER.  
  
**End Of Chapter Two**  
  
_A/N: I know...that chapter kind of bit. Sorry, writer's block is invading my head. Well...review if you liked it; go find another story to read if you didn't.  
  
-Alexa_


	4. Something's Up

_(Summary: A short POV chapter from Chandler.)_  
  
**Chapter Three  
**  
Chandler's P.O.V  
  
Ruthie Camden is hiding something. I know it.  
  
She was acting very strange when I bumped into her today.  
  
She just seemed so spooked. Like someone just scared the living daylights out of her. She was really shaken up. And in a hurry to get away from me, I must add.  
  
I hope Ruthie's ok. Her family has become like a second family to me over the past year.  
  
Ruthie Camden is hiding something...something I will find out.  
  
All of a sudden, I am hearing these footsteps behind me. I turned around.  
  
It was just Roxanne. Her blonde hair was tangled and messy. She was wearing the white tank top she'd been wearing earlier that day and a pair of black underwear. Oh God, what did we do? Did I, a minister...a man of God, sleep with my girlfriend?  
  
No, no sidetracking Chandler. Back onto the subject of Ruthie.  
  
Oh hell, what did I do? Hell, this is bad...very bad. I'm supposed to be against sex before marriage. What the hell is my problem?  
  
Roxanne came over by me. "Chandler, are you coming back to bed?"  
  
"Not now, Roxanne."  
  
She frowned at me. "But..."  
  
"I said: not now, Roxanne...please."  
  
"Fine!" her frown deepened.  
  
I faced her. "Roxanne, by any chance, did we...?"  
  
"Um yeah...we kind of did."  
  
"How wonderful." My voice was loaded with sarcasm.  
  
"Sarcasm won't help you. It's too late to stop us, we already..."  
  
"Don't remind me."  
  
Roxanne was silent.  
  
"Roxanne, maybe you should go home, it's getting pretty late."  
  
"Look Chandler, I know you're upset about what we did, but..."  
  
"Please Roxanne, just go home."  
  
"Fine"  
  
Roxanne walked back into my bedroom. She came out a minute later with jeans on; her hair pulled back, her purse in her hand, and her shoes on her feet.  
  
"I guess I'll call you tomorrow."  
  
"Sure, whatever."  
  
"Goodnight." She exited my house.  
  
God, I'm such an idiot! I slept with my girlfriend; we weren't even engaged! I'm bound to burn in hell now! Damnit! Why am I so stupid?!  
  
Now...back onto the subject of Ruthie. What could be wrong with her...?  
  
**End Of Chapter Three**  
  
_A/N: Hope you enjoyed that chapter. I put a little bit of a certain R/C paring in there. Sorry...I had to get it out of my system. Anyway, review if you liked it; go find another story to read if you hated it.  
  
-Alexa_


	5. You Gotta Stay Away

_Summary: Ruthie sees Chandler at Shop-Rite. Chandler has a painful secret to share._  
  
**Chapter Four**  
  
Ruthie's P.O.V  
  
Why did I agree to go to Shop-Rite with my mom? I'm just not in the mood to leave the house. God, I'm stupid.  
  
Wait! I'm not stupid. What am I saying?  
  
Just remind myself of my sayings...  
  
I'm not stupid.  
  
Avoid Chandler.  
  
I'm Not Stupid.  
  
AVOID Chandler.  
  
I'M NOT STUPID.  
  
AVOID CHANDLER.  
  
So here I am, walking around Shop-Rite while my mother grocery shops.  
  
Now I remember why I went with my mom.  
  
I had to get away.  
  
Maybe I'm not so stupid.  
  
I'm not stupid!  
  
Just keep repeating it... I'm not stupid, avoid Chandler, I'm not stupid, avoid Chandler, I'm not stupid, avoid Chandler, I'm not stupid, avoid Chandler, I'm not stupid, avoid Chandler, I'm not stupid, avoid Chandler, I'm not stupid.  
  
I could've sworn I saw Chandler at the end of the aisle.  
  
Wait! That is Chandler...with Roxanne. God, do those two do everything together?  
  
I've gotta get out of here...  
  
Chandler's P.O.V  
  
Out of the corner of my eye, I swear I saw Ruthie.  
  
Wait a minute, that was Ruthie...  
  
Roxanne interrupted me. "Chandler."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I think we should talk about what happened..."  
  
"Drop it, Roxanne. It's all done with. Forget about it."  
  
Roxanne looked at me oddly. "Ok...you don't have to be so nasty about it."  
  
"I'm sorry Roxanne, I've preoccupied with something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I bumped into Ruthie Camden at that party yesterday and she seemed so spooked out, like someone harmed her. I'm really worried about her."  
  
"Come to think of it, she did disappear completely from the party. Wait, isn't that her over there right now?"  
  
"I think."  
  
"Well...let's see."  
  
I called out her name. "Ruthie."  
  
Ruthie's P.O.V  
  
Oh crap! He noticed me! What do I do?  
  
Two voices in my head begin to argue.  
  
_"Go to him Ruthie, he can help you, he will help you."  
  
"No! Stay away from him! He suspects something. Just remember 'avoid Chandler'."_  
  
I listened to the second one. Avoid Chandler at all costs, that is what I must do.  
  
_"That's right, avoid him Ruthie."  
  
"He suspects."  
  
"He knows."  
  
"Run from him."  
  
"Run away, Ruthie. Chandler Hampton is one you mustn't go near."_  
  
I went to find my mom.  
  
Chandler's P.O.V  
  
She ran off. She must be avoiding me. I wouldn't blame her.  
  
Because I've figured out what was wrong.  
  
Ruthie Camden was raped.  
  
How do I know this?  
  
Because it happened to me when I was her age...  
  
**End Of Chapter Four**  
  
_A/N: Bet you didn't see that one coming! I probably took you by surprise. Anyway, I hope this makes up for chapter three. Actually, chapter three was kinda an installment for this. Well, review if you liked it. Go find something else to read if you don't.  
  
-Alexa_


	6. Confession Of A Shocking Sort

_A/N: The mess I made out of chapter three will be explained here.  
  
Summary: Roxanne confesses a lie. Chandler lets his secret slip._  
  
**Chapter Five  
**  
Chandler's P.O.V  
  
"Chandler, we should talk." Roxanne told me this as we were watching a movie we'd picked up at the video rental store earlier.  
  
"What do you want, Roxanne?"  
  
"Well...I sort of lied to you."  
  
"About what?" My mind searched for possibilities.  
  
"We didn't sleep together last night."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"You don't remember. You were so tired when I drove you home from the party. The minute we got into your house, you passed out on the bed. And I decided to spend the night to make sure you were ok. But then, you woke up later on at about five in the morning. That's what really happened."  
  
"Why did you lie to me, Roxanne?"  
  
"Because, I didn't want you to be mad at me for staying the night."  
  
"So, you told me we slept together to cover up your real reason for being there last night?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"That makes no sense at all, Roxanne."  
  
"I'm sorry...I was just really worried about you and I didn't want to leave you alone."  
  
"Don't apologize, it's in the past...forget about it."  
  
"Well, you're forgiving."  
  
"It comes with living through my hellhole life."  
  
"Chandler please, I know you and your parents didn't exactly get along but..."  
  
"Roxanne, you just don't understand. It wasn't just about arguing with my parents. My parents were abusive to me, Roxanne, they'd hurt me a lot. Roxanne, my brother was a drug addict, and an alcoholic. I was a loner with no friends my whole life, I only had my closest friend Eileen. And I was..." I felt tears sting my eyes at the mere memory.  
  
"You were what, Chandler?"  
  
"Roxanne...I was raped."  
  
**Chapter Five  
**  
_A/N: And the plot thickens! This story is a good halfway through. The next chapter will be Chandler telling Roxanne about how he was raped, flashback included. Then, the last few chapters will be mostly on Ruthie and Chandler. The reason I wrote this chapter was to explain what I meant in chapter three. Sorry if I confused you. Well, I'll update sometime this week.  
  
-Alexa_


	7. I'm So Sorry

**Chapter Six**

Roxanne's P.O.V

I just looked at Chandler in shock. I can't believe it. The man I love and plan to marry is a rape victim. Oh God, poor Chandler. No wonder he never wanted to be sexual with me in our relationship. Now I feel just awful for even thinking of him in a sexual way.

I took his hand into my own. "Oh God, Chandler, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok, I've never actually told anyone about it. I'm fine, really."

"When did this happen?"

"When I was 13, the same exact age as Ruthie."

"And, if you don't mind me asking, who did this to you?"

"It was my 8th grade math teacher, Mr. Hunter."

"How did it happen?"

"Well, one day..."

**Flashback-**(Chandler's P.O.V)

_One day..._

Mr. Hunter, my math teacher, kept looking at me oddly during class. Or at least it seemed that way. I swear I could feel his eyes on me when I wasn't looking up front. And when I did, I swear he would look away.

Mr. Hunter walked around the room, collecting homework. When he picked up mine, he gave me an odd glance. "Mr. Hampton, please see me after class."

I was totally confused. Why did he want to see me after class? After all, I had a B average in math. Wasn't I doing well enough? "Ok, sir."

After what seemed like forever, the bell ending math class rang. All of the kids, except me, piled out of the room and headed to English, the next class of the day. I stayed, though.

Mr. Hunter was seated at his desk. "Come up here please, Mr. Hampton."

"Mr. Hunter, why did you want me to stay after class? I mean, I have a B average and I understand the material..."

Mr. Hunter cut in. "Shut up, you stupid boy!"

I didn't say anything.

"You think I don't know what you're craving! I see the way you look at me, boy..."

"What are you talking about?"

"This is what I'm talking about, Tyler!" He shoved me into a corner.

"You must have me confused with someone else, I'm not Tyler, my name is..."

"You said what we had was just a childhood lust. Well Tyler, here's the lust you always wanted, you foolish boy!"

He was on top of me. I was too scared to move. I screamed a silent scream in my head when he reached for the zipper of my jeans...

**End Of Flashback**

Back To Roxanne's P.O.V

"...And then, he raped me." Tears filled his eyes.

I hugged him. "Chandler, shh, it' s ok, don't cry."

He continued to cry as I hugged him.

"Why did he call you Tyler?"

"I later found out that he had some kind of fling with a guy named Tyler who apparently looked a lot like me during his junior high years."

"So, he used you to fight off the lust he had for some guy named Tyler over the years?"

"Yes."

"Chandler, forget that asshole. Move on. Forget the past."

"Thanks for that Roxanne."

I hugged him tighter. "It's no problem."

**End Of Chapter Six**

_A/N: There, another chapter done with. I'm not proud of this one, due to this awful writer's block I have. Oh well, review it please, I need help with this story._

_-Alexa_


	8. Now's Our Chance

**A/N: **I'm sorry for not updating in months...I just haven't really gotten any ideas for this story. But I'm back now! And I'm in a good mood tonight, I get Taco Bell for dinner and I had no school today so I got to sleep in! Life is good.

**Chapter Seven**

(Ruthie's POV)

I slowly made my way towards the shower. I turned on the faucet and watched water flow down into the drain. Although the water was steaming hot, I decided to give it a minute or so to heat up. As I turned around, I nearly jumped out of my skin after I swear I saw Doug's grinning reflection in the bathroom mirror. Oh God! He was watching me! I swear...it feels like Doug is in every direction I turn. For the past two days, I've lived in fear. I still felt so dirty, so used, so raped...

And I hate it.

I hated living my life in fear. Just because I was the victim of some sex-obsessed loser doesn't mean I should let him control my life. But I couldn't help it...he was everywhere. He was smiling back at me from the mirror, he was watching me through the window, he was lurking in the dark shadows of my bedroom at night, he was behind every corner waiting to grab me, and he had even found a way into my dreams, which I now call my nightmares.

I hated this so much. I hated feeling like Doug had won. I hated the fact that I didn't prevent this whole rape in the first place. I'm such shit. Maybe I should just kill myself...

Suddenly, I found myself in the shower. Screaming at the top of my lungs...with my clothes still on. I felt a weakness in my legs and collapsed onto the shower floor and I screamed even louder. Doug's voice filled the room...

_"You're so fucking worthless..."_

No I'm not.

_"You don't deserve to live..."_

I have just as much right to be on this earth as you do.

"_You won't live to see tomorrow if tell anyone about this, got it..."_

"Damnit! Leave me alone! I fucking hate you Doug Lane! Just leave me alone! STOP HAUNTING ME!!!!!" I screamed as I pounded my fists onto the shower floor, tears falling from my eyes...

I was having a breakdown. I was living in fear once again. I hate myself...

(-----)

Later on, after my breakdown in the shower, I entered my kitchen. I had a fake look of joy upon my face. I hated to do this. I hated to live in fear and live a lie at the same time. But it was the only way if I never wanted anyone to know that I was raped. I cringed at the mere thought of the word.

I noticed that my mom was on the phone with somebody, "Sure Amy, that sounds great. See you tonight. Bye."

"Who was that, mom?"

"Oh, that was Amy Lane from down the street. She and her son Doug are coming over for dinner tonight. I feel bad for Amy; ever since her husband Charlie left her for that waitress she's been all alone. And I think her and that darling of a son of hers will enjoy eating dinner in a family setting."

I felt sick. Doug Lane. Here? At my house? Eating dinner with my family? Eating dinner with me?! Oh God no...

I put on a big fake, cheesy smile, "That's great mom! I can't wait! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to use the bathroom."

I dashed up the stairs and into the hallway bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I began puking. I was releasing my inner sickness towards Doug. I soon again found myself in the shower, having another breakdown. Only this time, the thought of killing myself then and there was really present in my mind...

(-----)

(Chandler's POV)

I looked at her. She was so beautiful. Her long, tumbling blonde hair. It was as bright as the sun. Her ocean blue eyes glowed happily, representing all that was innocent. I loved her...

"Chandler..." Roxanne's voice snapped me out of my trance.

"Yes, Roxanne."

"I just asked you a question."

"I'm sorry, I was lost in thought, and I didn't hear you. What was it?"

"Will you marry me?"

"Um...yes, Roxanne, I will marry you."

I all of a sudden felt her arms embracing me. Her hair smelt like a field of flowers. I could be lost in her beauty forever. I then felt myself kissing her.

"I love you," she mumbled in between our kisses.

"I love you too."

"Roxanne, Chandler, hey," Roxanne and I both noticed Kevin standing up above as from the table that we sat at upon the Promenade.

"Hey Kevin," I said.

"Hey Kev, where's Luce?" Roxanne asked.

"Oh, she's at home. She's studying for a big test. So, what's up with you guys?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Well, you two looked, um,'cozy' before I came over here."

"Roxanne and I are getting married, that's why we looked 'cozy'."

"Wow! That's great! Congrats!"

"Thanks Kevin," Roxanne and I both replied, practically in unison. It sort of freaked me out.

"Hey, why don't you both come over to the Camdens' house for dinner tonight. You guys can announce your engagement and then we can all celebrate."

"Well...sure, we'd love to," Roxanne said with a smile.

"Yeah, sounds great," I added.

"Ok, see you guys around seven tonight. I'd better head home now. Bye," Kevin walked off.

This was it. I finally had the chance to help Ruthie. I was going to help her get over her rape. Roxanne's love had helped me move on and forget what Mr. Hunter had done to me yesterday. Ruthie, on the other hand, had no one to turn to. No one else in her family had been through something like a rape, so they wouldn't understand it. And if Ruthie's anything like other rape victims, she probably feels too embarrassed to talk about what happened. But hopefully, she would open up to me. I mean...we both went through the same thing. And hopefully, Ruthie wasn't thinking about killing herself like I had after my rape...

"So...Chandler, are you going to talk to Ruthie about 'you-know-what'."

I had told Roxanne of what I suspected of being wrong with Ruthie the previous day.

"I'm going to try, Roxanne. And hopefully succeed..."

"But what if she won't talk to you?"

"We have to pray she does, Roxanne. Otherwise, Ruthie Camden just might think about killing herself."

I saw tears in her eyes, "Oh God, Chandler...rape and suicidal thoughts. Poor Ruthie...poor you."

I hugged her tightly, "It's ok Roxanne. I'm fine now. I'm over my rape because I finally talked about it. I thank you for that. And now, it's up to us to help Ruthie get over hers."

**End Of Chapter 7**

**A/N: **Well...there's another chapter done with. I hope you all are enjoying this story. Please review and tell me what you thought of this chapter.

-Alexa


	9. Uh Oh, Trouble

**A/N: **Sorry I haven't updated in a little while. I've been feeling really depressed lately. Well, you don't want to know about the sad, sad life of me. On with the chapter…

**Summary: **Roxanne and Chandler confront Ruthie about her rape. And Doug causes even more trouble.

**Chapter Eight**

Doug's POV

Man, I'm so hot. I am admiring myself in the mirror. I love myself.

I love hurting people and making them feel weak. I thrive on it. I thrive on the power.

Like Ruthie Camden. God, what an easy slut. Getting her into bed was like taking candy from a baby.

And now, I have my eyes on someone else.

Her name is Roxanne Richardson. That hot cop chick Ruthie's ugly chimp-faced older sister Lucy always hangs out with. She will be mine. Because…what I want, I get.

My mother Amy pokes her head into my bedroom door, "Doug, time to go."

"Ok mom," Boy, is tonight gonna be fun.

(----)

Ruthie's POV

Oh shit! The doorbell just rang. I quickly tense up. Oh God, Doug is here.

I peak up from the stairs. Oh phew, it's just Chandler and Roxanne.

Wait a minute, Chandler and Roxanne…

Oh damn no! Chandler knows! I can sense it. I was supposed to avoid Chandler! But now, he'll try to talk to me. And Doug will be here too. Can I just die now?

An Hour Later… 

Everyone is sitting down at the dining room table for dinner. My mother, my father, Sam, David, Kevin, Lucy, Chandler, Roxanne, Amy, Doug, and me. Chandler and Roxanne keep looking at me, concerned. And Doug keeps shooting me creepy glares. My life is awful.

Kevin stood up somewhere in the middle of the dinner, "Attention everyone, Chandler and Roxanne have an announcement to make."

Kevin remained standing up as both Roxanne and Chandler arose from their seats, next to each other, of course. What else is new?

Chandler smiled as he took Roxanne's hand, "Roxanne and I are engaged."

Doug looked pissed off, "Yeah. Wow. That's really great. Not." What did he mean by that?

Amy Lane, Doug's mom, smiled, "Although I don't know either of you that well, I am happy for you."

Lucy hugged Roxanne and then Chandler tightly, "Awww! I'm sooooo happy for you guys! You are just too cute together! You'll just LOVE being married!"

My dad walked silently over by them and shook both their hands, "Well, congratulations, you two finally decided to get married." Dad had been pretty much telling them to "get married if you're so in love" since May.

My mom, much like Lucy had done, shot up from her seat and hugged them both, "WOW!!!! THIS IS GREAT!!!!!!!! I'M REALLY REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS!!!!!" My mom was acting weird today, but I just let it go. I had my own problems to worry about, much bigger problems than pondering why my mom acted like she was on "happy drugs" 24-7.

"Congratulations Roxanne and Chandler!" Sam and David chirped happily in unison. Sometimes I wonder if they're human.

My mom turned to me, "Aren't you going to say anything to Chandler and Roxanne, Ruthie?"

"Yeah Ruthie, say something, say something sweet and innocent…since you're such a "good girl", after all," Dough mouthed to me, and then winked and gave me a very creepy smile.

I felt like gagging then and there. I hated Doug. That asshole. He made me sick. He made me want to kill myself. He raped me…

I found myself taking my anger towards Doug out on Roxanne and Chandler, "Damnit mom, I don't care. I don't even know either of them. Chandler is just some identity-less guy who came and took over dad's job while he was sick! And Roxanne's just a...sex kitten!"

My mom looked furious, "Ruthie Jessica Camden! You apologize to Chandler and Roxanne now! That was extremely rude and out of line!"

"No mom, make me! Go to hell, all of you!" I ran out of the room and out into the backyard.

Chandler's POV

She's worse than I thought. I quickly excused myself from the table, and so did Roxanne. We ran after Ruthie, who led us into the Camden's backyard.

"Talk to us, Ruthie," I said slowly to Ruthie, who was curled up in a corner.

Roxanne and I sat down next to her. Ruthie's eyes were loaded with tears.

"Ruthie, someone hurt you, didn't they?" Roxanne asked Ruthie slowly.

"No, look Roxanne, Chandler, I'm fine. But if there was something wrong with me, why would you care?"

"Because…" Roxanne said softly. "We're your friends."

"Since when?"

"Since forever," I said quietly.

"No," Ruthie whimpered. "You're Lucy and Kevin's friends, not mine. You don't care about me, no one cares about me…"

"Yes they do Ruthie, now please, just tell us the truth: did someone hurt you, or rape you, to be precise?" Roxanne asked.

Ruthie jerked up sharply, "How did you know that Roxanne?"

"She didn't know at first, Ruthie, I did," I said, my voice soft.

"Chandler…you…but how?"

"Ruthie, I was raped too. When I was your age, my math teacher James Hunter raped me. I never told anyone about it until yesterday. I told Roxanne, and she helped me move on. Now, we're here to help you too. And if you're wondering why, it's because we care. Roxanne and I don't want to see you in pain, we want to see you get the help you need."

"Yeah Ruthie, now, who did this to you?" Roxanne asked.

"It was Doug Lane."

"That guy inside your house?"

"Yeah, at that party two days ago. He tricked me into his house and drugged me and then…raped me."

"Oh Ruthie, it's going to be ok," I told her.

All of a sudden, Ruthie threw her arms around and hugged me.

"Thanks you Chandler, you're the only one who noticed and cared. And thank you Roxanne for helping him."

I let Ruthie cry into my shoulder. And Roxanne mouthed to me: "I'm going to go inside." I nodded.

"It's ok, Ruthie, it's really ok," I started crying too. And for ages, Ruthie and I just sat there, crying and hugging…

(-----)

Roxanne's POV

I entered the house. No one was in the dining room anymore. I figured they were in the living room.

I was right. Eric, Annie, and Amy sat on one couch, talking. And Lucy and Kevin sat on another, watching TV in silence. And Sam and David were curled up in an armchair with the Camden's dog Happy, sleeping. But there was no sign of that Doug creep.

Annie looked at me, "Roxanne, where are Ruthie and Chandler?"

"I left them out in the backyard to talk. Ruthie seemed to open up to Chandler more than to me," I replied.

"Ok. And I'm sorry for how Ruthie treated you and Chandler before."

"Don't worry about it. I understand completely. Thirteen's an age that can make you do the craziest things. Hey, come to think it, where's that Doug guy?"

"Oh, he went out into the front yard. He said he needed some fresh air."

"Oh. You know what, that sounds like a pretty good idea. I think I'll step outside for a minute of "fresh air" myself."

"Ok, Roxanne," Annie turned back to Eric and Amy.

I headed towards the front door and walked out into the front yard. I saw Doug standing out in the grass, staring at the dark sky.

"I know," I said slowly.

"Know what?"

"Don't play stupid with me! I know what you did to Ruthie!"

"And what's that?"

"You raped her!"

"And that's for you to know and no one else to ever find out!"

Doug lunged at me and jumped on me. He pinned me hard onto the ground.

"Let go of me, you sicko!"

"Never!"

Doug picked one of Annie's nearby garden shovels and whacked me really hard over the head. I felt blood running down my face as I began losing consciousness.

"You…disgust…me…"

"Thank you."

And then, everything went black for me…

**End Of Chapter Eight **

**A/N: **And…another chapter is done with. I hope you all liked this. Well, review if you want. I would write more, but I've got English homework. Darn you school! Well, bye!

-Alexa


	10. You Ain't So Bad Now

**A/N: **Hola, I'm back! I just HAD to write something to make up for that cheesy Degrassi story I wrote last night. I was thinking about finishing up 'You're Back Into My Life', but I decided to save that for a rainy day. Then I was thinking chapter 4 of 'As Days Go By', but I realized I hadn't finished getting all my ideas together for that. Then, I remembered this story…and well, this is my picked thing to update! Enjoy the new chapter! And this one is also the next to last!

**Disclaimer: **The following song below used in this chapter is 'Halloween' by Aqua. Therefore, it is not mine. NOTHING IS MINE! Wait, I almost forgot, Doug(not that I make owning crazed rapists a habit!) and Amy Lane are mine! You can have Doug if you need a creepy rapist or just a creep in general in your story, but Amy is ALL MINE! Ok, I'll shut up and type this chapter…

**Chapter Nine **

Roxanne's POV

I slowly opened my eyes and tried to lean up, but I immediately felt a sharp, awful pain. I pushed myself back down, forcing myself to lie back without moving.

Shit, did my goddamn head hurt. I put my hand on top of my head. I felt something unusual up there.

I felt around a little more. I felt an open wound on my head and dried blood in my hair.

"Damn," I moaned as another sharp pain came from me touching the wound.

How did to get this huge gash on my head anyway? And where the hell was I, come to think about it? I have no idea what this place is.

I thought really hard, trying to recall what had gotten me here. It all came spilling back into my mind…

_Ruthie…_

_Chandler and I confronted her…_

_Ruthie admitted it was true…_

_Doug had raped Ruthie…_

_Chandler comforted her… _

_I went to find Doug. _

_I told him I knew…_

_He hit me with a garden shovel…_Well, that explains the cut pretty well.

And speaking of that little bastard, Doug entered the room. He flicked on the light switch. I looked around me. I realized that I was in his room. I could tell by the shitty taste.

Doug grinned, "Hey, baby, how you been?"

"You…you…you're such a…bastard!"

"Thank you, I just love compliments."

"You realize that I'm a cop and I'm gonna damn well put you behind bars for what you did to Ruthie!"(**A/N**: Doug is 18 like Simon, but out of high school, so he isn't a minor.)

"Oooh, I'm so fucking scared!"

"You repulse me."

"Oh shut up already!"

Doug jumped onto his bed(which I was already lying in) and grabbed onto both of my arms and shook me violently. He banged my already cut head onto the bed's headboard. I knew what Doug was trying to do: he was trying to rape me. Just like he had raped Ruthie. In this very same bed, poor Ruthie unwillingly lost her virginity to this ass. That thought made me really angry.

I shoved Doug off of me as hard as I could. I sent him flying right off of his bed and right onto the floor, landing on his sorry ass. I jumped out of the bed. My head may have been cut, but that wouldn't keep me from kicking this pervert's ass. Doug and I lunged at each other. Our arms locked as we both fought for control over each other.

"Give up, you pervert," I said.

"Why don't you give up, you little slut?!"

That comment made me even angrier. I pushed Doug really hard. He whacked his head on his dresser, causing him to be knocked out. I quickly tied his hands and legs with some rope I found under his bed, and it didn't surprise that one bit that he had them. Pervert.

I then pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, which Doug had been too stupid to take from me. I made some phone calls. One was to Kevin and the police station, telling them to send a car to the Lanes' address. Another one to Amy, Eric, and Annie. And the last one was to Ruthie and Chandler…

_-Hello?  
Remember me?!  
Who's…who's there?  
I've got your number!  
Oh no, no!  
I'm back to haunt you!  
No, stay away!  
Hahahahaha... _

It's Friday night  
_So creepy outside  
It's is thundering and lightning  
There's nobody home  
__Cause I'm all alone  
It's scary and it's frightening _

The sound of shoes  
_A shadow that moves  
Something odd is tic tac ticking  
Someone's in here  
__I'm so full of fear  
The telephone is ringing _

Now I can see you…  
_Oh no, please no…  
Now I can touch you…  
__Oh god, please go…  
I am right here now…  
__Oh please, tell me where…  
Hahahahaha...  
__I'm in a nightmare!  
You better run cause I'm back to hunt you down!  
__  
Halloween  
__In the death of the night  
__Hear me scream  
I'm coming, I'm coming  
Halloween  
__Is the fear that I fight  
__In my dream  
Keep running, keep running-_

**End Of Chapter Nine**

**A/N**: One more chapter and a short epilogue until this story's completion!

-Alexa


	11. The Truth I Tell

**Chapter Ten**

Ruthie's POV

I'm smiling on the inside as I watch Doug being hauled into a cop car. Off to jail with that scum.

I looked over at Chandler and Roxanne. They smiled and waved at me. I smiled and waved back to acknowledge my gratefulness.

_Thank you, Chandler and Roxanne, for believing in me and helping me,_ a little voice in my head told me.

Thank you, indeed.

I looked over at my mother and father and Amy Lane, who had just been told why Doug was going to jail.

It hit them hard. The Doug they once trusted was a rapist. And I hope that I was his only victim. No one deserves this.

It's terrible. To feel used, touched, violated, plagued, scared all the time, and pretty much…raped.

_Why do people do this?_ I wondered to myself.

I walked over to my parents and Amy. They were all still in shock.

"How could my son be a rapist?" Amy said to no one in particular.

"Only God can help Doug now, Amy," My dad replied.

My mom took notice to me watching them, "Ruthie, one cop told me that you were a victim in this case and that you'll have to appear in court. Is that true? Did Doug…rape you?"

"Mom, dad, Mrs. Lane…" I started crying. "Yes…Doug did rape me."

**The End!!!**

**A/N: **YAY!!! IT'S COMPLETE!!!! I'm going to write a short epilogue right now. Please, please, please review!!!!

-Alexa


	12. Things Will Be Ok Someday

**Epilogue **

_-(Ruthie's POV)-_

_"Mom, dad, Mrs. Lane…" I started crying. "Yes…Doug did rape me."_

It's been two months since I've said those words.

I've been in counseling since. But it just doesn't help.

Doug Lane is still in my nightmares. I'm still afraid

that someday he'll come back and hurt me again.

There has been little happiness in my house since I

announced my rape. But, however, there was a little

bit of celebration last month when Chandler and

Roxanne got married. But since then…total

blackness.

I no longer want to kill myself, it's just a waste of my

life. But I still feel like

I'm trash because of what Doug did to me.

Amy keeps saying how sorry she is for what her son

did, but I don't blame her for anything. Doug was the

who made the choice. And speaking of Doug, he was

charged with twenty years in prison for the rape of

me and one of his old girlfriends, Becky, from high

school. Ten years came for each rape. Becky's case

was discovered shortly after mine.

I'm still staring out my window. I have

been throughout this whole story's retelling. I still see

people walking, talking, and laughing below me. how

I long to be one of those people once again.

I want to be happy again, but I can't move on. Doug

just keeps on haunting me. The memory of what he

did has forever been labeled _'the tomorrow of Ruthie_

_Camden'._

I ask my myself these questions a lot. Will Doug ever

leave my mind? Will I ever move on? Will I ever be

happy again? Will I ever see tomorrow?

**A/N:** REVIEW!!!!!!!!

-Alexa


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